Report: Middle Schoolers Learning How to Curse, Not Doing It Correctly

Chad White, Once ran over a middle school child, Still at large

At a younger age, Jonny Rinkland was a happy-go-lucky child. However, when he arrived at JK Thompson Middle School, his entire world changed.

“Yeah everything was different. We had lockers, books were bigger, and, most of all, we learned new words” said Rinkland.

The words he is referring to are those of the curse variety. No, I’m not talking about black magic. And no, that’s not a race thing. I’m talking about words that are only used on shows rated TV-PG or higher.

“It’s so ass damn awesome” said Rinkland.

The main problem is not that these kids are cussing but it’s the fact that they can’t do it properly. Most if not all just seem to pull the words out of thin air then combine them with adjectives that just don’t make sense.

To get to the bottom of this problem, I went undercover at the middle school. Soon, I found who started the phenomenon.

Stanley Cooper is a 12 year old kid that was exposed to adult themes way too soon.

“I can watch whatever the butt fart I want” said Coopers.

His parents often leave him in front of the television when they do not want to deal with him. They love him wholeheartedly stating: “he’s a great kid and all but having the TV raising him is just easier.”

Rinkland and Coopers are currently adding more money to the swear jar as each day passes.