Chad White, Self-Promoter, Janitor
An area man is suing his own company for sexual harassment.
Entrepreneur Frank Boseman, 33, brings the suit after he accuses himself of almost 20 years of sexual harassment.
“I’ve had enough of feeling like a piece of meat. Somebody needs to put this monster away for good” said Boseman.
Boseman was recently awarded with a promotion from himself.
In the suit, Boseman claims that each day would begin the same way. He wakes up in his one bed room loft. He walks to the office located three feet from the master bedroom and wakes the computer up. He then goes to get his coffee which he forgot in the kitchen.
Boseman walks to the kitchen feeling as though he’s being gawked at. It doesn’t help that he is a mirror salesman and keeps the back catalogue of mirrors around his loft. He spots a flash of light from the window which he thinks is someone taking a photo but, in reality, it’s just the reflection of the sun off of the side mirror of a passing car.
Sometime while all of this is going on, his computer desktop opens up the internet browser automatically to the page “Clutz With Buttz,” a specialty porn site for those who enjoy clumsy women with large posteriors.
The other most visited sites in Boseman’s history include “Schvitz in my Schnoz,” a site dealing with large nosed, jewish females; A hardcore site called “Backdoor Puppets” based on Jim Henson’s The Muppets; and a site that paired television characters such as Tattoo from Fantasy Island and Molly from Mike and Molly.
“It’s about time we finally get something done around here. I’ll be able to go to sleep without the fear that the next day will be filled with quips about my tight buns and constant crotch groping.
Boseman is the only one who works at the company.