Chad White, Racism Is Relative, Dumb Irish
During an Easter feast, Uncle Randy told his family that he used to hate the Germans.
“Bunch of no good, Jew hating bastards I tell ya” he screamed.
Earlier that night, he had several beers in quick succession. He continued his tirade against the Germans by talking about how he once peed on his German neighbors’ lawn in the middle of the night. His entire family felt uncomfortable until Grandpa Mike chipped in.
“You know what? I used to know this dumb Asian kid that delivered my paper in the old neighborhood. He always threw it at my window. That’s why I hate Asians” said Mike.
At that very moment, every family member added their disdain for other races too.
“I hate those blacks and their beautiful hair!” said Aunt Amanda
“What really gets me is those freaking Canadians and their politeness.” said cousin Seth.
“The French are a bunch of no good filthy, smelly cheese eating pansies!” said sister Carly.
This made Easter dinner especially uncomfortable for the foreign exchange students Harold Derka, a black resident from Southern Germany and Cadence Phu, a mixed Canadian from East Asia.